just tell him i said nine months
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
