oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
from now on my penis is your penis
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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