I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
