She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
