Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
