I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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