I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
