That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
