dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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