i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
