Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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