She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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