Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
