the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
they call him Oral-B. enough said
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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