and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
