i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
