In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
