you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
