I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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