...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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