u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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