I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
