You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
