I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
