Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
bring money and cleavage
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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