on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
