Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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