Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
