No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
