Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
