I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
