I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
