i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
