This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
