his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
