summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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