I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
