Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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