So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
