Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
