Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
