With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
