i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
