Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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