I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
