My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
No subtext here. People are naked.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
