Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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