I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
