I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
