Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
