Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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