Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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