you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
