I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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