Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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